waxing

Waxing, Screaming and the Bucket List

I’m incredibly sick today, so please pardon me for being lazy and bringing this old post back.  I thought that it was hilarious.

This post might be rated a little PG-13, so, if there are little children near the computer, please click on the video to the right to watch that instead and then come back another day. Ahem. All adults in the room? Okay, here goes. I have a bucket list. It’s a little list that I made last year with some things that I’d love to do before I die. We should all have one, no matter how old we are.

My list isn’t particularly elaborate because there are things that I actually plan on doing and not just some pie in the sky dreams that I will reach for, but won’t actually attain. The plan is to be able to check one or two off every year. As I get older and discover something else that I would like to do, it might grow. But for now, it’s a neat little list. Keep this in mind when I tell you this story.

I get my eyebrows threaded. For the men in the room, and some of you women, threading is the Indian method of hair removal. They hook a thread around the hair or hairs and tug them out. Yes, it can get painful, but it is remarkably precise and I get a really sharp looking brow from having them threaded. I go to a small salon which was pretty empty since it’s in the business section of midtown Manhattan on a Saturday. There were five of us in the salon: three ladies that work there, me and another customer. I popped into the chair with my usual person to get my brows done as the other customer went to one of the rooms where they perform body waxing. Fellas (and some ladies) waxing is where they put a hot item, usually wax but sometimes sugar, on the area where you would like to have hairs removed; apply a cloth to the wax, allow the wax to cool a little, and then tug the wax off your skin with the hairs coming out in the process. Some women wax their eyebrows. Some women wax their legs. Some women wax their nether regions.  Well, this lady must have been doing the latter.  Here’s what I heard from my chair:

Woman:  “Arrrrrrrrrrgh!  Oh my God!  Is it supposed to hurt like that?!” (heavy panting)
Worker: “Is this your first time?”
Woman: “Yes.  Is that normal?”

Worker: “Oh yes, the first time it hurts, but it gets better the next time.”
Woman: Screams.  “Holy shit?  People do this all the time?”
Worker: “Yes, every 2 weeks.  If you come back regularly there’s less hair, so it won’t hurt so much.  Do you want a little baby power?”
Woman: “Baby powder?  I need like, 3 Advil.”

Meanwhile, I sat in the chair getting my brows done laughing my head off.  To her credit the girl doing my brows assured me that it was this lady’s first appointment and that it’s usually not that bad.  Now, back to the bucket list.  Bucket list item number 31 is to get a Brazilian.  A Brazilian, my friends, is not some hot young Latin man that I want to tie to my bed, a la Madonna.  No, no, no!  A Brazilian is a special kind of waxing that is done below the belt where every single hair is removed.  Every. Single. Hair.   No, wait.  You do get to choose a uhm, decorative amount of hair to be left for uhm, visual interest.  This is where you might have heard the term “landing strip” or the “Charlie Chaplin”.  Otherwise, every single hair between the belt and hip is removed.

Now, hearing this woman’s distress made me think of my bucket list item.  Do I really want to subject myself to that?  Heck yes!  You only live once and pain is fleeting, so why the hell not? I know that you’re wondering what the hell this has to do with personal finance but the whole point of getting out of debt is to live the life that you want to live and do the things that you want to do.  Well, before I die, this is one thing that I will do.  In fact, I’m sure that I’ll be on pain medication before I go just to help.  Ladies, if you’ve ever had this done or given birth, I have to give you -as the kids say- mad props. And before the guys start calling us women crazy, plenty of men wax too.

I stuck around reading a magazine to see the other customer.  She came out of the room smartly dressed but walking like a person that had ridden its first cow. Did I change my mind? Nope, it’s still something that I want to do, but not that day.

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42 Comments

  1. As one who has had this done, I have to say, it wasn’t THAT bad. I’m not sure if it made a difference that I went to a Red Door salon and paid over $90 to have this done (and it was just the one time, bucket list item – check!) but I would never go to a smaller salon to have something like this done (if I ever have it done again).

    I will say, that you feel a little bruised for a few days afterward (kinda like you’ve ridden your first cow) but the pain subsides and 3 advil probably would do the trick too!

    • I would TOTALLY go to the Red Door to get this done. In fact, I have a gift certificate to the Red Door salon and had planned on a massage, but I might have to consider this now. Thanks for the tip!

    • Oh Eric. You’re such a guy. Have you ever watched the 40 Year Old Virgin? You know the part where they wax his chest and it looks painful? Now, image that further down south. I don’t have the balls for it yet. Courage!

  2. No Brazilian for me, thank you very much! As for the eye brow threading, those boutiques are popping up every where in the malls as little kiosks. Very popular here. Though I still tweeze my own for now.

  3. LOL SANDY we have so much in common!!!!!!

    I regularly get my eyebrows threaded. I go to Little India and get it done for $5.

    I also get my nether regions waxed regularly LOL. Once you start you can’t stop. It’s like getting your hair dyed. Two weeks is too soon though.

    Hint- don’t go 5 days before or 5 days after or during your aunt’s visit. One word to describe it %&)#!

  4. Ooh might I add that I would NEVER do a “Brazilian Blow Out” and that’s not a hot Latin lover who does x-rated things to you..:)

    it’s this terrible chemical treatment (that contains formaldehyde) that can burn your skin and is so bad for you, the government is working to ban it.

    Some ladies still do it anyway because it makes their hair (on their head) look so good.

    • It’s been getting popular here in NY too. I see signs popping up everywhere for Brazilian keratin treatment or Brazilian straightening. I guess it’s not just models, Madonna boy toys, and waxing that comes out of Brazil. Wait a minute. I see a pattern here. I think that one more bucket list item is to dance the Samba in Brazil Carnival. I might have to get that Brazilian after all if I want to be in one of those skimpy outfits.

  5. Quit your whining you nanny girls :-)

    Just pop 3 or 4 Advil on your way to the appointment and you’ll be fine (although I do agree with @YoungandThrifty about timing the wax job for mid-cycle.)

    2 weeks between waxing is too short, not enough hair’s grown back, but waiting the optimal 4-6 weeks is torturous (and itchy.) I finally gave up on the waxing but not the concept (along with the lack of *gasp* gray hairs) and went back to shaving. Yep, no bucket list for me, just vanity.

    B

  6. I just have to say that I’m glad I’m a guy. Sure, I do some primping here and there, I mean, I have to keep the wife happy, but women go through some crazy painful things that I probably don’t even know about!

    I’ve got my goals for the year. Most of them relate to my website – I’m addicted to it, but it’s so fun! Hopefully I’ll acheive them all in a short amount of time.

    • It’s cause we love you men…and we might subconsciously LIKE pain? I don’t know. I have to get back to you on that after this whole waxing thing.

  7. Do it! :) I haven’t done it in a while, but used to, several times in the past. I have to tell you, no matter how many times I’ve done it, I could never get used to the pain. I have to take a breather each yank. lol The pain is gone almost instantly though, but the region might sting for a litte bit. I’d highly recommend wearing comfy pants and underwear when getting it done because your crotch area after will be too sensitive for tight clothing! DEFINITELY worth it though. You’ll love the way you look lol, hairless for at least 2 weeks, and no coarse hair growing back (this might be TMI for some, sorry)! I agree, every 2 weeks is too much, unless you are related to Chewbacca. Once every month and a half is ideal. Good luck Sandy! This shouldn’t be a problem on your bucket list!

  8. Thanks for the laugh. Ridden her first cow? Funny stuff.

    Have to admit. I’ve never understood the fascination some women have getting this done…..but I’m a man, so I clearly know nothing. :)

  9. I thought about doing this before going to Mexico one time, but I’m so modest just calling the salons in my little college town to find out A) if they do it and B) how much it costs was way too overwhelming.

    Maybe someday, if someone pushes me through a door and I’m not given enough notice to say no.

    Great discussion!

  10. I thought about doing this before going to Mexico one time, but I’m so modest just calling the salons in my little college town to find out A) if they do it and B) how much it costs was way too overwhelming.

    Maybe someday, if someone pushes me through a door and I’m not given enough notice to say no.

    Great discussion!

  11. I used to wax down there because shaving and my skin just didn’t get along… Then I bit the bullet and paid big bucks for laser hair removal. It worked quite well but now I get the occasional stray hair that I pluck. 10 mins maintenance every other week or so. It’s great :)

    I found this hilarious video on YouTube a while ago. Don’t worry, it’s very PG ;)

    • Laser? Isn’t laser more painful? You have to give more details! Oh, and the video was the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. I have tears falling. Damned funny.

      • Oh yeah, laser hurts! But it’s about the same level of pain as waxing, it just takes longer because it’s a small section at at time (about 1/2 hour for bikini line, 15 min for underarms). When you’re done it feels like you have a bit of a sunburn for a few hours, then fine by the next day. The bonus is that it takes around 6 sessions total to get rid of most of the hair permanently so after about a year you have very little to do!

        I didn’t get a Brazilian tho… I wanted to but am a chicken lol

  12. I used to wax down there because shaving and my skin just didn’t get along… Then I bit the bullet and paid big bucks for laser hair removal. It worked quite well but now I get the occasional stray hair that I pluck. 10 mins maintenance every other week or so. It’s great :)

    I found this hilarious video on YouTube a while ago. Don’t worry, it’s very PG ;)

  13. What a weenie! :)

    I get a full Brazilian every 4 weeks w/out fail. It doesn’t hurt that bad. Seriously. The first time was a little painful, but it helps if you trim things down to about 1/4″ before hand. The longer the hair is when you get it done, the more “pull” there is.

    After the first time, the rest of it is much much easier.

    • I admit that I have no backbone. I can’t deal with pain but I keep thinking about getting this done and making a u-turn. Just not gonna happen just yet, but I need to cross this off my bucket list.

  14. I admit that I have no backbone. I can’t deal with pain but I keep thinking about getting this done and making a u-turn. Just not gonna happen just yet, but I need to cross this off my bucket list.

  15. I started getting the Brazilian for my husband, but now I do it for me. Once you do it, you just get addicted to it. I feel “dirty” having hair down there now.

    I numb the area a bit before getting it done. I just use the bezocaine spray (you can buy it OTC) 5 min before. I find the penaten is also really good for the itch and ingrown hair afterwards.

    Every 4-6 weeks is ideal, but I just go whenever I can afford it. If find that waxing also works better than sugaring for the Brazilian.

  16. I started getting the Brazilian for my husband, but now I do it for me. Once you do it, you just get addicted to it. I feel “dirty” having hair down there now.

    I numb the area a bit before getting it done. I just use the bezocaine spray (you can buy it OTC) 5 min before. I find the penaten is also really good for the itch and ingrown hair afterwards.

    Every 4-6 weeks is ideal, but I just go whenever I can afford it. If find that waxing also works better than sugaring for the Brazilian.

  17. Sorry you’re sick but glad you brought this back! You had me laughing out loud!

    I’ve never — ahem — gone to Brazil, but I do have my eyebrows waxed. That first waxing hurt so bad that I was clutching the arms of the chair. The next appointment went fine, though.

    Good luck!

  18. Sorry you’re sick but glad you brought this back! You had me laughing out loud!

    I’ve never — ahem — gone to Brazil, but I do have my eyebrows waxed. That first waxing hurt so bad that I was clutching the arms of the chair. The next appointment went fine, though.

    Good luck!

  19. Waxing is one of the most painful way in removing unwanted body hair but the pain will be worth with the result. If you want a painless hair removal treatment you can try the laser hair removal, but the price is quite higher as compare to the conventional waxing.

  20. Waxing is one of the most painful way in removing unwanted body hair but the pain will be worth with the result. If you want a painless hair removal treatment you can try the laser hair removal, but the price is quite higher as compare to the conventional waxing.

  21. Oh yeah, laser hurts! But it’s about the same level of pain as waxing, it just takes longer because it’s a small section at at time (about 1/2 hour for bikini line, 15 min for underarms). When you’re done it feels like you have a bit of a sunburn for a few hours, then fine by the next day. The bonus is that it takes around 6 sessions total to get rid of most of the hair permanently so after about a year you have very little to do!

    I didn’t get a Brazilian tho… I wanted to but am a chicken lol

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