The 7 Best Jobs
A couple of weeks ago, I gave your brain and eyeballs the reading of the
century millennium, as I treated you all to my list of the 7 worst jobs of all time. It was pretty awesome, and we all wept openly for those suckers who have to spend all day doing those crummy jobs. I’d give you hugs and all, but I’m kind of scared of human contact.
This post will be a little more positive, as we count down the 7 best jobs. While I’m not recommending you quit your job right now to do one of these careers, I’d at least think about it. Especially if you’re a teacher. Or if you work at the DMV. Yeah, I’m not sure why that wasn’t on the original list. Let’s do it.
8. Writer for Yes, I Am Cheap
Sandy never yells at me, even though I fill up her blog with bad jokes. That’s worth at least an honorary spot on the list.
7. Wall Street Finance Guy
On the surface, being a Wall Street guy looks like the greatest job of all time. You get to live in New York, which is a pretty neat place. You make wheelbarrows full of money. Finance is generally a pretty interesting topic. And, most importantly, the ladies of New York go gaga for Wall Street guys. Why isn’t it ranked higher?
You have to work about a million hours a week, and the working environment is pretty stressful. Plus, Wall Street tends to attract alpha male type guys, and they might be the worst thing ever. Still, the money makes it all worthwhile.
6. Convenience Store Clerk
Yes, I know, it’s only a minimum wage job. But when you rank it compared to other minimum wage jobs, it’s a pretty sweet gig. Most of these stores aren’t that busy, giving you plenty of downtime. You usually get all the free soda or slushies that you can drink. Vendors will often leave you free slightly outdated bread or chips, snacks that are still perfectly good to eat. Hot girls are always coming in, and sometimes they’re a little bit goofy after drinking a few too many wine coolers. There’s only one downside, and that’s the constant threat of being robbed.
5. Internet Guy
I’m grouping all the internet professions together here, so go ahead and include people who blog for a living, or those who do design work, or whatever. Working in your underwear is the obvious perk, unless you’re like me and you don’t wear the stuff. There’s other benefits too, including flexibility, and the ability to continuously write about stuff you’re interested in. Plus, you can deduct your internet expenses and space in your house for a home office. Flexibility and tax benefits? Sign this guy up.
The world is filled with wannabe photographers, probably because actually getting paid to take pictures is two steps beyond awesome. You get to travel around, either taking pictures of beautiful landscapes or beautiful people. You have no idea how badly I want to be the photographer that gets to take pictures of Kate Upton in a bikini in Antarctica.
3. Working For A Pro Sports Team
I wanted to include being a professional athlete on the list, but it’s kinda not realistic. So instead I just listed a generic employee of a sports team. Can you imagine being paid to talk about your favorite sport all day long? How about being paid to hang around with your idols? That’d be pretty cool, right? I’m conveniently ignoring the fact that a lot of professional athletes are kind of spoiled and moody, since that would ruin my fantasy.
Being a doctor is 42 different kinds of awesome. People respect your opinion, even when you’re talking about non-medical stuff. They automatically think you’re a genius, just because you’ve been through medical school. The pay checks are outstanding. Attractive members of the opposite sex regularly take off their clothes in your presence. Plus all the nurses throw themselves at you. Being a doctor means you’ll pretty much spend all day getting your ego stroked. That’s my kind of job.
1. Host of The Amazing Race
I am so jealous of Phil Keoghan it’s a little sad. The guy gets paid a ton, gets to travel around the world, and does not much else. All the racers are doing unpleasant tasks, while Phil sits in some air conditioned villa hanging out with the locals, waiting for them to show up. Sometimes he has to do voiceovers. I want to be Phil. Do you guys think anyone will notice if I kidnap him and take over his life?
Have any other awesome jobs everyone should know about? And no, don’t say your job. It probably sucks.