Death Took A Holiday

My boyfriend’s sister was killed while crossing the street two days ago.

I will never, for the rest of my life, forget the wail of anguish and disbelief that emanated from his soul as dropped the phone upon hearing the news from his niece, her daughter.  Men aren’t supposed to cry.  At least that’s what we’re taught in this macho, mine is bigger than yours society.  But the wall could hardly sustain him as the towering manly man sobbed for the loss of his sister.

Things like this aren’t supposed to happen to people like us.  We’re not supposed to be characters in the real life version of dramas that you hear about on the evening news or read on the paper, but here we are in the whirlwind of what happens after a totally unexpected tragedy.

There’s no one to blame.  No one on whom to direct a blissfully distracting laser beam sharpened anger and curse to the fiery depths of hell for causing this accident, because it was just that, an accident.  A series of small decisions by everyone involved arranged a perfect storm that created the split second timing in which such a deadly accident could have occurred, and now, she is gone.  Never to watch her daughter get married or her sons become the men that she had been waiting on.  Never to even meet her grandchild, now steadily growing in the womb.  You’re tempted to think, if only she had done this, or if only he had done that, but it doesn’t matter because the end result will still be the same – she is gone, and nothing will change that.

I’m going to label 2011 the Year of Death.  It’s been a terrifically horrible year filled with multiple cancer diagnoses, floods, droughts and more deaths and funerals than I hope to attend for the rest of my life.  I’ve already lost count of how many funerals my friend and former coworker has attended this yearFrankly, I’d never pick up my cell phone again if I were her.

Death seems to haunt my boyfriend’s family around Christmas.  First he lost his grandmother, then his aunt, a cousin, his father and now his sister all in the month of December.  Nine years after burying his father two days before Christmas, he had finally mentioned getting a tree to celebrate the holidays this year.  Now, those plans are on hold as he helps his niece and nephews plan a funeral for his sister.  You would hope that Christmas, the time to surround yourself with friends and family, would be sacred.  You would hope that you could all survive this time with laughter and cheer and a little bit of complaining about the gift that you received.  Many of us forget that just being alive to complain about constantly playing Christmas music and mall based Santas is a gift itself.

Perhaps if we all pray very diligently for it, Death could take a break around this happiest of times.  But even Death doesn’t take holidays.  Instead, it took this holiday from us.

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21 thoughts on “Death Took A Holiday

  • I am very sorry for your family’s loss. I lost my father a week after the Thanksgiving holiday eleven years ago, and it always stabs a little extra. When everyone’s talking about how much they enjoy time with their family, I’m usually in a depression made worse by family-fun entertainment. It does get better every year, and I hope that he can find peace soon and that next year has a much better label.

  • I am very sorry for your family’s loss. I lost my father a week after the Thanksgiving holiday eleven years ago, and it always stabs a little extra. When everyone’s talking about how much they enjoy time with their family, I’m usually in a depression made worse by family-fun entertainment. It does get better every year, and I hope that he can find peace soon and that next year has a much better label.

  • It is horrible and painful. I am SO sorry! No words can express how awful this all is. Please take care of your BF and yourself. He will need you the most right now by his side. My heart goes out to you guys.

  • It is horrible and painful. I am SO sorry! No words can express how awful this all is. Please take care of your BF and yourself. He will need you the most right now by his side. My heart goes out to you guys.

  • Pray, pray, pray, you’re strong and your family is too. Remember we are not promised tomorrow we have to live for the day. Although, she is gone we’re still here. Morn the lost and keep living. Don’t let it keep you guys down. God love you!

  • I am so sorry about your and your BF’s loss Sandy. I know no words could comfort you, my heart goes out to you two and your BF’s sisters family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • I am so sorry about your and your BF’s loss Sandy. I know no words could comfort you, my heart goes out to you two and your BF’s sisters family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • OMG when i read this I thought, did i write something and forget it. On Dec. 21, 2011 just a couple days ago my Boyfriends sister also died while crossing the street. run over and crushed, While everyone is celebrating Christmas and having a wonderful time with there families, I get to sit and watch him write his sister eulogy, its heart breaking, my thoughts and prayers go out to you, this is coming from someone who is feeling the same pain you are. God Bless you and his family.

    • I’m sorry to hear about your loss as well! Unfortunately tragedies like this happen every single day. Only time will help your boyfriend feel better.

      • Thank you, And I hope you and your boyfriend and his family are doing well. It’s so hard to see my boyfriend in such pain. the services are on Tues. Jan. 3rd. We are not letting her death mean nothing. She was 80% blind. from a attempted suicide yrs ago. the intersection she got run over at, had the talking crosswalks, but it malfunctioned. and it was also a 6 lane major intersection. it only allowed 30 sec. to cross the street. We are suing Kern County to get all the crosswalks with talking signals. and to also allow more then 30 sec. to cross the street. Our attys are already making it happen, in her name. (Shelly Keith). God bless you and your boyfriend and his family. you will be in my prayers

        • I’m sure that having a positive outcome from the her unfortunate death will be comforting to your boyfriend’s family. Of course, it won’t heal his pain, but knowing that this might help to prevent someone else from having the same kind of accident will be a lasting legacy in her memory. I’ll keep you in my thoughts as well.

  • Hi Sandy, I was moved by your words and had to respond. So sorry to hear about your boyfriend’s tragedy and I hope time is helping to heal the pain. Sometimes I wonder why do bad things happen to good people. The only thing I can come up with is life is unfair sometimes and we have to appreciate how precious it is.

  • Hi Sandy, I was moved by your words and had to respond. So sorry to hear about your boyfriend’s tragedy and I hope time is helping to heal the pain. Sometimes I wonder why do bad things happen to good people. The only thing I can come up with is life is unfair sometimes and we have to appreciate how precious it is.

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