If you’ve been sleeping under a rock for the past few weeks, let me fill you in about the Mega Millions lottery. The Mega Millions is a lottery game that is plated across multiple states. No one had won the lottery for, I don’t know, a month or so, and it went all the way past a $300M jackpot. Only one winner was declared out of millions of lottery tickets sold. Only one lucky person will end up swimming in all that money (remember Scrooge McDuck?). That one winner my friends, was me.
I won the lottery! I won $300 millllllllion dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m going to Disney World! Money Reasons recently went on a trip to Disney World and detailed everything from start to finish, so why not? Maybe not Disney World, maybe Bora Bora.
At first, I didn’t believe it. I mean, stuff like this just doesn’t happen to people like me. It’s always an old couple in the middle of a small town somewhere in the midwest that usually wins it. It’s never a struggling, working schmuck drowning in debt like me -no wait, like I was- that wins it. I didn’t even realize that I had won until Sunday night. I mean, you buy the ticket, and you hope to win, but you don’t really expect to win it.
So, Saturday came and went. Sunday came and was about to go, and I hadn’t checked my ticket. That was until BF mentioned that someone in New York had won. I’m in New York but so are millions of other people. Then he mentioned the area that the winning ticket had been sold. Lightbulb! I had been in that area and had purchase one ticket. I knew that I hadn’t won but I decided to check anyway.
I generally don’t bother checking the entire ticket. I just look at the last number since that one determines if you won the grand prize or not. Since my birthday was coming up, I had played numbers related to my family’s birthdays. My birthday is April 22, and since it’s coming up, I had chosen the Mega number as 4. Wait. It matched! Time to check the other numbers.
The first number was 22. That’s my birthday. Check! Yes! I had won at least $3. Not bad considering that I had only spent $1. How else can you triple your money? Oh, wait, have to check the rest of the numbers. 24, check! That’s my favorite cousin’s birthday. Can’t ever forget it since it’s only 2 days after mine. 31, check. That’s my brother’s age.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Did I actually have three numbers AND the Mega Ball number? How much was that worth? Holy crap, that’s $100. It won’t pay for a vacation, but it’s a decent payment towards the credit cards, right? Hold on there were two more numbers to check, but there was no way in hell that I had the last two numbers, right? Right.
Next up was 52, my mom’s age. It’s there?!! The number was actually there?!!! I was getting excited. An extra number AND the Mega Ball number means an extra zero at the end. So wait, my $150 is at least $1,000 now. Time to check the website again. No, it was $10,000! Holy Mary, Jesus and Joseph. I could pay off a credit card. No, no stupid. They take taxes out of that money. Fine, so I don’t get $10,000, but who cares? Whatever I get didn’t matter because it only cost me $1. It was all icing as far as I was concerned.
Man, I’d been so close to getting the $300M. In all honestly, the lottery is a bit of a rip off. How could I be only one number away from the jackpot and only get $10,000! What a rip. It wasn’t fair. I clearly deserved more. I mean something with six figures would be more appropriate wouldn’t it?
I might as well check the last number. Where the hell was the ticket? Got it. Okay it’s 54. Let’s see, what was the last number again? Was it? No, it couldn’t be. I felt my heart pick up speed like a freight train. I was projecting. Let me wipe my glasses off. I…I…I think that I might have a. There’s no way. I screamed for my BF like my hair was on fire.
Of course he thought that something had happened to me and came running, shouting, “What happened?” All I could do was point at the computer screen and shake my ticket at him.
Well, that’s what could have happened if I had played those numbers. I didn’t play the Mega Millions and the winning numbers were handpicked for me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh well, I’ll be here tomorrow.
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