Are You & Your Spouse Are On The Same Team?
Tuesday, March 10. 2009
This post was inspired by 7 Tips To Make Your Budget Work over at Enemy of Debt. Actually it was inspired by #2 on the list, Remember That You & Your Spouse Are On The Same Team. I really thought hard about that one. Since almost 50% of American marriages end in divorce and the number one reason couples fight is over money, I am ready to say that no, most spouses are not on the same team. It is certainly that way with me and my bf. Let me explain.
I am not the most diligent saver as you can see from the numbers over there -------> but I've turned a leaf and am trying very, very hard to pay off as much debt as I can in as short a time period as possible. I'm open to trying just about anything including selling off things we don't need on Craigslist, putting up my resume for part-time weekend work, working online, writing articles on the internet, starting a blog that made a whole dollar yesterday (whoopie!) and selling my soul to the Devil. You know, just about anything. My bf on the other hand is not so inclined. He wants to get rich quickly and I want to be debt free. He says I'm obsessed. No, I just think that I'm focused. The problem is that what I am focused on and what he is focused on are two different things.
I know that I am not the only one since I know of at least one person whose financial goals are out out of sync with her husband's. He wants to hold on to a failing business. In the process he is dragging down his wife's credit, shares nothing with her of his own finances and is seemingly willing to risk his family's financial security for a business that is obviously failing. He won't quit for his own pride.
So I write all this to say sit down with your spouse. Check in with each other. Make sure you are on the same page with the same goal and the same ideas. If you are single or engaged do the same thing. Make sure that you layout your short-term goals and your long-term goal. They should at least be similar. You want to be sure that you are playing on the same team instead of sitting on opposite sides of the field.
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It's hard to work out goals with your spouse even if you are both on the same page. I sit down with Randy and ask him where he wants to be financially in 5 years and he tells me rich. LOL. Seriously! Thankfully, he is just as frugal as I am but trying to get him to plan long term is impossible. On the other hand, he is really, really good at getting bills paid on time with very little money. I guess we have to count our blessings and compromise.
We have to work on our men! Okay so we might not be on the same team but at least in the same hemisphere.
What a great post! You are so right. My husband of 3 years and I took Susie Ormonds advice and keep a joint account that gets 60% of our paychecks, and personal accounts that get the rest. That way, we don't go nuts when someone wants to buy expensive shoes that look fabulous on her or concert tickets for a jam band that he's too old to be going to see anymore. You know, for example.
My wife and I were not on the same page financially for a long time. It is just within the last 6 months that we finally ironed out a budget, working together to set goals, and not totally blow up over money.
Men and woman have different ideas on what she be done with the money. Somone is usually the financial nerd and the other is the free spirit. That makes it difficult and it is all about communication and compromise from there.
Men and woman have different ideas on what she be done with the money. Somone is usually the financial nerd and the other is the free spirit. That makes it difficult and it is all about communication and compromise from there.
