Welcome to the soap opera post. Regular readers, you know what that means; it’s tenant from hell time! Yaaaay. Okay, yesterday was the first of the month. In homes all over the land, the rent was due and most people paid their rent on time. But we’re not dealing with most people here. We are dealing with my tenant. I have to say ahead of time how much I’ve loved sharing this series with you.
Now, if you all recall, the last time that we spoke about my tenant from hell, she attempted to pay the rent on time by giving me a post dated check in December for January’s rent. I deposited the check into my account and it rebounded and slapped me in the face because it was no good. The dang check bounced. I sent along a notice then called the tenant. Drama, drama, drama and she promised to pay everything on February 1. She supposedly had overdrawn her account to the point where even her overdraft was overdrawn. I later found out that she used the rent money to bail her daughter out of jail when the daughter was caught with her drug dealer and enough illicit substance to get hit with an “intent to distribute” charge.
Anyway, I played hardball and told her that everything needed to be in on the first of February or she should expect a three day notice and legal proceedings after that. I would not accept any payments that came in after the first. So we all decided to take bets on whether or not she would pay on the first. You guys overwhelmingly voted that there was basically no way in hell that she would pay on time. Considering her track record, I didn’t blame you. She has never paid the rent on time, so why would she start now?
On the last day of January I thought I would try to swing the odds in my favor. I called her up and left her a very businesslike voicemail stating that per our agreement all monies were due on the first and that no partial payments would be accepted. If she was not able to pay all back rent, fees and the current rent, she would receive a three day notice by the fifth of the month (I legally have to wait) and that I would start with eviction process. She never did call me back.
Well, the first rolled around and at 11 o’clock I got a phone call from her. Sigh. When the phone call begins with, “Listen, what happened was,” which seems to be her favorite line, I get ready for the improbable story that’s coming up. It seems that she fell and opened up a four inch gash below her eye and she was in the hospital waiting for the cosmetic surgeon. She had every intention of paying the rent but she didn’t know when she would get out of the hospital, etc. etc. Hey, that was her story, so don’t roll your eyes at the computer screen. And don’t think that I’m a heartless bitch because I said to her, “I’m sorry that you fell. I hope everything is okay and that you didn’t bang your head hard enough to break something as well. I won’t keep you talking too long since I’m sure that your head hurts, but when am I getting the rent?” Heartless, I know, but come on!
Who thinks that I didn’t get the rent money? Drum roll please. Suckers!!!! You were all wrong. I got the money. Muhahahaha! Being a cold bitch works. I don’t know if I can do this again, because I don’t have it in me, but the one time that I put my foot down and was cold throughout the process was the one time since I bought the house back in April that she has paid the rent on time. Whew! I feel like a party. I am not above saying it, but I was right, and you were wrong. 😛 Every single one of you were wrong. In your face blog readers!
If you like my tenant from hell stories then you should go to http://mytenantfromhell, my other blog where you can read about other people’s bad tenants. If you are thinking about real estate investing, you must subscribe to the blog. There’s a new story there every week.
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