About Me
Why I Embrace Being Called Cheap
If you saw me in the NY Times, you need to read this.
If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you’ve probably noticed something.
I don’t get offended when people call me cheap.
In fact, I embraced it so much that I built an entire brand around it.
Years ago, when I started Yes, I Am Cheap, the name was meant to be a little tongue-in-cheek. People often use the word “cheap” as an insult. It’s what they call the friend who brings lunch instead of buying it. The person who says no to the expensive girls’ trip. The coworker who drives their car for fifteen years instead of leasing a new one every three years.
But over time, I realized something: many of the people using “cheap” as an insult were often struggling financially themselves.
Meanwhile, the people quietly building wealth were usually the ones making intentional decisions with their money. They were not flashy. They made informed decisions about how they spend their money on a daily basis.
So yes, if being cheap means I don’t spend money trying to impress people, I’ll gladly accept the title. So yes, I am cheap.
The Most Expensive Financial Mistake I See
One of the biggest financial mistakes people make isn’t overspending, it’s comparison.
We compare our homes to our friends’ homes. We compare our vacations to our friends’ vacations. We compare our careers, our cars, our wardrobes, our children’s activities, and even our retirement savings.
The problem is that comparison rarely tells us the full story.
You may see the luxury SUV. You may not see the now average $773 monthly car payment. You may see the destination wedding. You may not see the credit card debt that paid for it or the now average $36,000 wedding price tag. Meanwhile my wedding was $5,000 and the marriage is still going strong a decade later.
You may see the designer handbag and luxury clothes. You may not see the anxiety that comes from living paycheck-to-paycheck and believe me, I spent years doing just that.
What we often compare is someone’s highlight reel, which is exactly what social media posts are, to our financial reality. That’s a dangerous game that can lead to stress and overspending. The old adage is true: comparison is the thief of joy.
My Friends Have Influenced My Financial Life
Of course, friends influence our financial decisions. That’s perfectly normal. The people around us shape our habits, our beliefs, and our expectations.
I’ve had friends who encouraged me to think bigger. Friends who inspired me to negotiate my salary. Friends who introduced me to investing. Friends who showed me what financial independence could look like. Those influences were valuable.
But I’ve also learned that every friend is on a different financial journey. Some earn more than I do. Some earn less. Some prioritize travel. Others prioritize real estate. Some deeply religious making their faith central to their lives. Others couldn’t care less.
The older I get, the more I realize that financial success isn’t about having the same goals as your friends. It’s about having goals that fit your life.
My friends have been invaluable in opening my eyes to all of the things that I could potentially accomplish. They have pushed and pulled me along when needed. And they have propped me up when I felt like I was failing.
Keeping Up With the Joneses Is a Losing Game
Here’s the funny thing about the Joneses: even the Joneses are trying to keep up with someone else.
There’s always a bigger house. A newer car. A fancier vacation. A more exclusive neighborhood. A higher salary. A larger investment portfolio. The finish line keeps moving. That’s why chasing appearances is exhausting.
No matter how much you earn, someone will always appear to have more. If your definition of success depends on outperforming everyone around you, you’ll never feel like you’ve arrived.
Real financial peace comes when you stop measuring your progress against other people.
What I Learned Paying Off Debt
When I was paying off tens of thousands of dollars in debt, I had to make choices that didn’t always look impressive from the outside.
I skipped things.
I said no.
I stayed home.
I worked multiple jobs and had countless side hustles. So many, in fact that I started an entire group dedicated to side hustling. There are now more than 20,000 people in that group.
I made financial decisions that some people didn’t understand.
But every dollar I didn’t spend on appearances became a dollar I could use to build my future. It was another dollar towards my debt. I was buying my freedom and sanity pennies at a time and if that meant being hyper focused on doing whatever I needed to do to clear my debt, so it was.
The truth is that nobody cared nearly as much as I thought they did. Most people were too busy worrying about their own lives. That’s a lesson I wish more people understood. The pressure to keep up is often self-imposed.
What if you didn’t care what other people thought at least for a few years?
Cheap or Financially Independent?
When someone calls me cheap today, I don’t hear criticism.
I hear discipline.
I hear intentionality.
I hear freedom.
Because every dollar I don’t spend trying to impress someone else is a dollar that can go toward something that actually matters to me.
My mortgage.
My retirement.
My emergency fund.
My future.
My family.
My peace of mind.
And if that makes me cheap, I’m perfectly okay with that.
The Bottom Line
Your financial life should not be a group project. Your friends can inspire you. They can motivate you. They can teach you. But they should never dictate your spending.
At the end of the day, your financial goals belong to you. Not your coworkers. Not your neighbors. Not the people on social media. And certainly not the Joneses. So stop worrying about keeping up.
Focus on building a life that works for you. Trust me, it’s a lot cheaper.
