I Won The Lottery!!!!

If you’ve been sleeping under a rock for the past few weeks, let me fill you in about the Mega Millions lottery.  The Mega Millions is a lottery game that is plated across multiple states.  No one had won the lottery for, I don’t know, a month or so, and it went all the way past a $300M jackpot.  Only one winner was declared out of millions of lottery tickets sold.  Only one lucky person will end up swimming in all that money (remember Scrooge McDuck?).  That one winner my friends, was me.

I won the lottery! I won $300 millllllllion dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m going to Disney World! Money Reasons recently went on a trip to Disney World and detailed everything from start to finish, so why not? Maybe not Disney World, maybe Bora Bora.

At first, I didn’t believe it.  I mean, stuff like this just doesn’t happen to people like me.  It’s always an old couple in the middle of a small town somewhere in the midwest that usually wins it.  It’s never a struggling, working schmuck drowning in debt like me -no wait, like I was- that wins it.  I didn’t even realize that I had won until Sunday night.  I mean, you buy the ticket, and you hope to win, but you don’t really expect to win it.

So, Saturday came and went.  Sunday came and was about to go, and I hadn’t checked my ticket.  That was until BF mentioned that someone in New York had won.  I’m in New York but so are millions of other people.  Then he mentioned the area that the winning ticket had been sold.  Lightbulb!  I had been in that area and had purchase one ticket.  I knew that I hadn’t won but I decided to check anyway.

I generally don’t bother checking the entire ticket.  I just look at the last number since that one determines if you won the grand prize or not.  Since my birthday was coming up, I had played numbers related to my family’s birthdays.  My birthday is April 22, and since it’s coming up, I had chosen the Mega number as 4.  Wait.  It matched!   Time to check the other numbers.

The first number was 22.  That’s my birthday.  Check!  Yes! I had won at least $3.  Not bad considering that I had only spent $1.  How else can you triple your money?  Oh, wait, have to check the rest of the numbers. 24, check!  That’s my favorite cousin’s birthday.  Can’t ever forget it since it’s only 2 days after mine. 31, check.  That’s my brother’s age.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.  Did I actually have three numbers AND the Mega Ball number?  How much was that worth? Holy crap, that’s $100.  It won’t pay for a vacation, but it’s a decent payment towards the credit cards, right?  Hold on there were two more numbers to check, but there was no way in hell that I had the last two numbers, right?  Right.

Next up was 52, my mom’s age.  It’s there?!! The number was actually there?!!! I was getting excited.  An extra number AND the Mega Ball number means an extra zero at the end. So wait, my $150 is at least $1,000 now.  Time to check the website again.  No, it was $10,000!  Holy Mary, Jesus and Joseph.  I could pay off a credit card.  No, no stupid.  They take taxes out of that money.  Fine, so I don’t get $10,000, but who cares?  Whatever I get didn’t matter because it only cost me $1.  It was all icing as far as I was concerned.

Man, I’d been so close to getting the $300M.  In all honestly, the lottery is a bit of a rip off.  How could I be only one number away from the jackpot and only get $10,000!  What a rip.   It wasn’t fair.  I clearly deserved more.  I mean something with six figures would be more appropriate wouldn’t it?

I might as well check the last number.  Where the hell was the ticket?  Got it.  Okay it’s 54. Let’s see, what was the last number again?  Was it? No, it couldn’t be.  I felt my heart pick up speed like a freight train.  I was projecting.  Let me wipe my glasses off.  I…I…I think that I might have a.  There’s no way.  I screamed for my BF like my hair was on fire.

Of course he thought that something had happened to me and came running, shouting, “What happened?”  All I could do was point at the computer screen and shake my ticket at him.

“We won!”

Well, that’s what could have happened if I had played those numbers.  I didn’t play the Mega Millions and the winning numbers were handpicked for me.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  Oh well, I’ll be here tomorrow.

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34 thoughts on “I Won The Lottery!!!!

  • I only ever grab a ticket when the jackpot is really high – like it was this past week. Of course, I don’t know if my odds actually go down by “playing” this way, but I figure if no one has won it yet, someone has to win it soon. *Sigh* what a waste of five-bucks.

      • Uhh.. No, your odds of winning are the same. The number of combinations are the same, no matter how many people play. Yes your odds of having to split the jackpot go up because there are more people playing, but again, the odds of actually winning at all stays the same.

  • I used to buy a $1 ticket when the lottery went over $50 million, but I stopped that some time ago. I no longer even care to take a chance for a buck! I won’t even bother unless it is convenient.

    • I said the same thing…until I saw that my numbers came out. Would the dollar have hurt me? Probably not. Will this aneurysm that I’ll get from thinking about the chance that I could have won? Maybe.

      • Do you usually play? And always with those numbers? If it was one time you just forgot, that would hurt more than knowing that you never play.

        Don’t forget, the odds tend NOT to be in your favor. And maybe if you HAD bought a ticket, that would have made a butterfly effect making different numbers come up…
        Just trying to make you feel better!

        • Quite honestly, I don’t usually play…except when it’s over $100 million. BUT I try to use the same numbers. It just wasn’t my day I guess.

  • Somehow I knew this was fake 😛 (I mean, you wouldn’t exactly announce it on the internet would you?) Wouldn’t it be awefully nice had it been true though?

    My parents play the lottery every month, and even though the ticket is not cheap, they like to do it, just on the off-chance. Plus it gives all these nice little scenarios of: what would we do with this month’s jackpot?
    (So far I’ve got them to agree that they’d buy me an apartment/house in the city where I’m studying :P)

  • That was great! I knew you hadn’t won, but I loved reading through and somewhere deeep down hoping that you really had and were just crazy enough to announce it to the world. 🙂

    Love your blog, had to just comment on this one!


    • Well thank you Dani! Hope it was a little fun in the middle of the day. You’re in New York. Tell me that you didn’t kick yourself for now playing when you heard that someone in New York won.

  • When I was much younger, I won $1,000 on a scratch off game. Fortunately, I didn’t get greedy and make ticket buying a habit!

    Man, it’s tempting…but I just pass when thinking of lotto tickets. It’s a money making plan, but the expected value for the winner isn’t breakeven! It’s like a casino.

    Have to say, $100 million would be nice though, wouldn’t it? I better stop this before the mind wanders to instant retirement….

    • That’s when you commence plan “X”. Put your money into an income producing, passive source. Then you sit back, sip the pina coladas while the pool boy Ricardo oils you back. Or maybe that’s just me?

  • Man you totally had me! My heart was racing. I was like “YES! Sandy’s taking all her Yakezie peeps out for dinner!” lol

    Nice article, maybe next time you’ll win. But you have a better chance of… Well, you know. 😉

    • The minute I win not only are the Yakezie going for a dinner, I might do a whole cruise like Oprah did with her staff.

    • Wasn’t it? Come on haven’t we all thought about what we woul do if we had won the lottery? I just need the lotto fairy to visit me ONE TIME.

  • I work at the service desk in a grocery store. This means I cash peoples pay checks for them and then sell them lottery tickets. Some gamble their entire check away. One man purchases any money orders to pay his bills with first. His leftover money all in twenties goes straight into the lottery machine. He stays in the store for hours scratching twenty dollar tickets until he is flat broke again.

    • That story makes me sad. I can’t even imagine doing that. My boyfriend was in the grocery store about 3 weeks ago and the lady in line ahead of him at the service desk (he smokes and they’re behind that counter) win $1M in a $20 scratch off. He called me on the phone while she was freaking out. All I could think of was how many $20 tickets had she bought before winning…and why hadn’t HE bought one?!

  • In my office, we make it a habit to put together our money and buy the lottery ticket whenever the jackpot is huge. At one point in time we got five of the numbers and all we missed is the mega number. We’ve won $25,000 for that for a jackpot of around $250 M, I think. After factoring for taxes, each one of us received around $1,000.

    Not bad since we usually just contribute $3 per person

    • After seeing your article on not buying a lottery ticket I couldn’t help but putting this one up…especially since I took your advice and DIDN’T PLAY and would have won some serious dough if I had played my numbers. No loss. Next time!

  • Dang! Your story Really had me going. I’m sad you didn’t win now.:( I play every week with my co-workers…. Solely because those are the stories you hear about people winning too!

  • The moral of the story life is a gamble. Whether you’re gonna be poor, middle class or rich. You’re paying through the nose for something so What’s another $1 “a day” at a chance to be an instant millionaire. Here is what I suggest. Put a dollar into a savings account everyday for the rest of your life and a dollar everyday into the largest lottery you can get into and see what happens.

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