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Jebus It’s Hot

It’s Friday. I’m supposed to have a bunch of coupons and tweets and stuff for you. I know that I owe it to you, but Jebus it’s hot as Hades here, and I don’t believe in air conditioning, so I can’t think straight. My legs are already sweating from the dang laptop and it’s only been a minute.

Before you think that I went coo coo for cocoa puffs (consult your nearest urban dictionary) you have to understand where I’m coming from. I’m cheap. Shocker! This blog isn’t called ‘Yes, I’m Cheap’ because I think it’s cute; it’s because I’m the cheapest person that I know. I absolutely refuse to buy an air conditioner when my freezer makes perfectly good ice, and when energy costs keep going up. I have never received a notice from Con Ed (that’s the energy conglomerate in N.Y.) saying, “Surprise, the rate that we’re charging you for electricity is decreasing.” That and I just refuse to buy more crap. Well, more accurately, I can’t afford to buy more crap. Follow me here.

Do you have a credit card bill? Yes? Do you carry a balance every month? You do? Do you remember what the hell you spent that money on three years ago? Neither do I. That is why I absolutely refuse to add one more penny to my credit card debt. Yes, I know that I can pay for the A/C in cash, but have you seen how much money I have in the bank – which, I hear, is only supposed to be for emergencies? You do remember that I live paycheck-to-paycheck right? Well, today’s paycheck doesn’t foresee an A/C unit in my future. Besides moving into the office where it’s a frosty 67 degrees all day every day, the only other option that I have is to walk around in some indecent state of undress and hope that the neighbors don’t call the cops…or take photos…without giving me a cut of the proceeds.
het wave - Jebus It's Hot
Which all leads me to the question, is it cruel and unusual punishment for Puppy to be so hot that she’s moved into the bathroom? I left her water and even dropped a few ice cubes in, but she took the ice out of her bowl and took the slivers with her into the bathroom. I kid you not. I don’t want the ASPCA knocking on my door for being a bad pet parent. So, in the interest of not getting a fine or having Puppy pass out from heat stroke, I think that I might have to buy the damn A/C. It’s only for the dog. I promise.

P.S. Does anyone else from New York remember when you were a kid and the firefighters used to open the hydrants for you to splash in? Or better yet, when they didn’t arrest you for having a water balloon fight with every single kid on your block or at least drench your worst school enemy with a Super Soaker? These kids don’t know what they’re missing!

P.P.S. I wonder what the fine would be to open a hydrant and run through a few times with the dog? Hmmm.

Image courtesy of S.I. Live Blog

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6 thoughts on “Jebus It’s Hot

  • You & your mom are too intertwined. Seriously.

    My mom and I are getting along FABULOUSLY now that I’m 1,000 miles from her. Money does not buy me peace of mind… it’s distance and caller ID. šŸ™‚ I just need to work on the distance between me and the in-laws now…

  • It’s not so much that we’re intertwined, but she’s this helicopter parent that wants to know every single thing going on like she’s one of the kids. I know that it’s because she feels like she missed out when we were little but it’s suffocating now. Most days I think that she needs medication or something because she gets hyper focused on one single thing and drives the rest of us nuts about it. Either way, I’m grateful that she loaned me the money and she means well, but sometimes…

  • Practically speaking, your mom acted as a banker charging interest. She never thought of you as her child. My mom has shelled a lot of jewelery for my education and has never asked me returns. In fact I would be more than happy to give her double of what she has done for me.

  • It’s not that I’m not grateful for her helping me. In fact, it’s quite the opposite! I’m very, very happy for her help. My assertion here was that if it no longer was convenient for me to pay her back as we agreed, then she should have told me that directly and it would have been okay for me. My mom isn’t in dire need of this money. She’s fine. But if she was acting as a banker (which I totally get because I discussed the terms with her) and wanted to rescind our agreement, then complaining to my brother without saying something to me directly was thee wrong way to go.

  • It’s June. Time to check in on how I’m doing with my debt. Sorry for the late post. I had the most horrible migraine and work is incredibly busy again. May 1, 2010 Student Loan #1 $1,436.27 @2.48% Credit Card #1 $662.93 @13.99% Credit Card #2 $3,

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