Just Because I’m Leaving Doesn’t That Mean I’m Gone

It’s my last day of work at my current job today.  I’ve accepted employment elsewhere and if the Ponzi scheme conviction (*cough*  Bernie *cough*) doesn’t pop up on my background check or the salvia traces (*wink* Miley Cyrus *wink*) doesn’t prove to be a problem after the drug testing, I should be okay.   But I still feel so very connected to my current job and its employees that I’m having a hard time just shutting down and letting go.  My BF thinks that I’m nuts.  I really don’t know what it is.

I came to this whole job dedication thing maybe a little later than some.  I’d worked in banking, particularly investment banking, at top 10 companies (read Morgan Stanley, Credit Suisse, Bear Stearns, etc.) for years and it was always a shark tank.  It was kind of like Project Runway: one day you’re in, the next day you’re auf!  After my first banking job, I learned to never leave anything more than a mug at my desk.  I guess I was a wee bit cynical.

When I came to this company I resolved to do the same, but time and comfort wore me down.  True, I was never one to put cute photos of me, the BF or even Puppy on my desk or even take my business cards out of the box, but I was pretty moved in.  Now, as I pack up my four (damn, did I ever move in) mugs and photos from coworkers’ weddings and babies I see just how invested I had become.  I see just why it’s so hard to let this one go as I know that I must if I want to progress.

My new boss has been kind enough to correspond with me every couple of days.  I think that we’ll have an easy rapport and I’m already plotting to take over his job.  I kid, I kid.  Not really. But I know that the new company is just as excited to have me as my current coworkers are sad that I am leaving.  It’s weird how that works.

I keep reminding them that I’m literally going to be three blocks away at the new company, and that I could still see them for lunch and whatnot, but if I am really being honest with myself (and that’s what this blog is all about) I know that it will be nowhere near the same.  We just won’t be able to chat about our weekends over the coffee machine or drop by each others desks to deposit the latest edible souvenir from recent vacations.  I won’t hear first-hand about new babies, congratulate people on their promotions, compliment the new hair cut, talk about the company and its direction, occasionally gripe about things that I cannot control and laugh at myself for not controlling the things that I could have.

We all promise to keep in touch, and with social media this should be easier, but there is something so much more impersonal and less familiar when you have hundreds of “friends” and make new “connections” without sitting across the table from someone and seeing how they’re really doing.  I mean beyond the announcements of the fabulous new (insert item here) or about Junior’s stellar grades at some posh school that I guess I should be impressed by, or the daughter’s new achievement at being the best at some sport.  How connected do you feel when you see these announcements online?

I realize, and I guess that I always have, that a company is so more than just the work.  At its hearts its really about the people.  And I’ll genuinely miss most of the people here.  What’s more, I know that I will be missed too.  So, as I pick up my computer bag one last time, and turn in my ID card, remember, just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean that I’m really gone.

I know the security guards really well.


I can still get in.


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20 thoughts on “Just Because I’m Leaving Doesn’t That Mean I’m Gone

  • If you have a good relationship with people, it is usually the hardest thing to let go. However, it is part of doing what is best for you. You will get over it. I met one of my best friends at my previous job. We are still friends. But boy was it difficult to leave her. You will be fine! Congratualtions on a new job. It is a new day, you know. 🙂

  • Hope your new job works out. It’s difficult to walk away from a comfortable spot, but we all need to move on sooner or later. I think sooner is a lot better than later when it comes to a job change.
    I can pretty much walk out anytime I want from my cubicle. I don’t really need to take any of these stuff with me. Maybe one plaque. 😉

  • I hope you enjoy the new place. I know what you mean, it really is about the people, especially when you’ve been at a place for a while and have gotten to know people over a long period of time. My company is like that as I was there as a student since 6 years ago, but there has been a lot of churn lately and it is slowly becoming no longer the same.

    Living is about moving forward, though, so congrats on the new job. 🙂

  • Congratulations on the new position! I definitely miss the one on one personal interactions that come from working at a job as opposed to blogging and writing online. Tweeting and Facebooking simply isn’t the same. Hopefully you’ll be able to keep in touch with your coworkers.

  • Man, this post hits so close to home. I also recently quit my job (actually wrote about it on my blog today), and this is my last week. It’s been very strange. I left to pursue other things, so there shouldn’t be any bad blood or anything, but I’m realizing how much I’ll miss certain aspects. It’s been such a routine over the past couple of years. And the people, too. I only really have one full-time coworker (boss works from home mostly), and he and I have become really good friends. I’ll be bummed if we aren’t able to maintain that once I’m gone.

    I cleaned out my desk today, and took stuff off my bulletin board (didn’t want to do it on the last day), and I almost cried! Even though I am really exciting about leaving. It’s still a big transition.

    Best of luck with your next thing!

    • I here ya! It’s such a big change. On one hand you’re happy for the new opportunity but sad to close the door on the previous chapter. Good luck with the new job too.

  • Hope your last day wasn’t too sad. Facebook and other networks makes it much easier to stay connected with pretty much everyone you have ever met, and their friends, and their friends….

  • When I left my first job, I remember bursting into tears as I handed back my ID pass. Not sure the security guys knew what to do with me!

    Best of luck with the new role. It’s sad leaving old colleagues behind. You’re right- the social side of where you spend most of your week makes a big difference!

  • I left a really stable cushy job after 18 years after the company moved and my commute became unsustainable. I was thrilled, I got a great payout, and although I loved my co-workers, I was bored to death there work-wise.

    I’m earning less now but I’m SO much happier, and I still see my former colleagues regularly. A couple are really close friends, and I still have lunch with the others regularly.

    This said, obviously your skills are more marketable than mine were. I would have preferred to leave for a higher-paying job.

    Change is good. And I firmly believe that either we opt for change ourselves, or the universe imposes it on us.

  • I’d considered leaving my employer a few times and when it was go-time, I just wasn’t able to do it. Ironically, they’re laying off in droves now and loyalty is out the window, but I always found a few reasons to justify staying. At the moment, the whole industry is suffering so it’s not as easy to jump around. Anyway, what you felt probably isn’t that uncommon; congrats on the new role though!

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