It’s my last day of work at my current job today. I’ve accepted employment elsewhere and if the Ponzi scheme conviction (*cough* Bernie *cough*) doesn’t pop up on my background check or the salvia traces (*wink* Miley Cyrus *wink*) doesn’t prove to be a problem after the drug testing, I should be okay. But I still feel so very connected to my current job and its employees that I’m having a hard time just shutting down and letting go. My BF thinks that I’m nuts. I really don’t know what it is.
I came to this whole job dedication thing maybe a little later than some. I’d worked in banking, particularly investment banking, at top 10 companies (read Morgan Stanley, Credit Suisse, Bear Stearns, etc.) for years and it was always a shark tank. It was kind of like Project Runway: one day you’re in, the next day you’re auf! After my first banking job, I learned to never leave anything more than a mug at my desk. I guess I was a wee bit cynical.
When I came to this company I resolved to do the same, but time and comfort wore me down. True, I was never one to put cute photos of me, the BF or even Puppy on my desk or even take my business cards out of the box, but I was pretty moved in. Now, as I pack up my four (damn, did I ever move in) mugs and photos from coworkers’ weddings and babies I see just how invested I had become. I see just why it’s so hard to let this one go as I know that I must if I want to progress.
My new boss has been kind enough to correspond with me every couple of days. I think that we’ll have an easy rapport and I’m already plotting to take over his job. I kid, I kid. Not really. But I know that the new company is just as excited to have me as my current coworkers are sad that I am leaving. It’s weird how that works.
I keep reminding them that I’m literally going to be three blocks away at the new company, and that I could still see them for lunch and whatnot, but if I am really being honest with myself (and that’s what this blog is all about) I know that it will be nowhere near the same. We just won’t be able to chat about our weekends over the coffee machine or drop by each others desks to deposit the latest edible souvenir from recent vacations. I won’t hear first-hand about new babies, congratulate people on their promotions, compliment the new hair cut, talk about the company and its direction, occasionally gripe about things that I cannot control and laugh at myself for not controlling the things that I could have.
We all promise to keep in touch, and with social media this should be easier, but there is something so much more impersonal and less familiar when you have hundreds of “friends” and make new “connections” without sitting across the table from someone and seeing how they’re really doing. I mean beyond the announcements of the fabulous new (insert item here) or about Junior’s stellar grades at some posh school that I guess I should be impressed by, or the daughter’s new achievement at being the best at some sport. How connected do you feel when you see these announcements online?
I realize, and I guess that I always have, that a company is so more than just the work. At its hearts its really about the people. And I’ll genuinely miss most of the people here. What’s more, I know that I will be missed too. So, as I pick up my computer bag one last time, and turn in my ID card, remember, just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean that I’m really gone.
I know the security guards really well.
I can still get in.