Nine Tax Deductions That Prostitutes Can Claim

I had an interesting conversation with my cousin over lunch – which she made me pay for, damn college student – as we discussed taxes.  Well, no we started out discussing all of the pimps and prostitutes that she runs into at parties as an intern for our state government, but that’s a whole different story.  What I explained to her was although prostitution itself was illegal; the IRS really doesn’t care what it is that you do for a living, as long as they get their cut.  It’s the tax evasion charge that usually has people spending years in jail.

The IRS doesn’t care if you’re an illegal alien working here when you shouldn’t be.  It doesn’t care if you’re growing weed in your basement, as long as when you sell it, you let them know.  Because really, Uncle Sam just wants its cut of whatever you make.  The government’s pimp hand is way strong.

Our conversation veered into deductions that you could take, even if you were a uhm, “Adult Talent Agent” – read pimp; or if you were an “Adult Entertainment Specialist” – read prostitute; or even if you were a “Street Corner Pharmacist” – that one you already know.  I slept on it overnight and came up with a list of deductions that you would take if you were a prostitute, streetwalker, hooker, call girl, or “Adult Entertainment Specialist”.

  1. Advertising Fees
    Remember the good ole days of the Adult section on Craigslist when hookers advertised their wares without having to pay a fee? Back before serial killers started trolling Craigslist for victims and cops started busting the women who advertised on there?  Wait, hookers, still post there?  If you’re not on Craigslist (smart move), you need to make sure that someone knows about your service.  That’s where the back pages of the Village Voice and other local weeklies come in.  They’ll take your money and advertise your “Asian body work” or “adult massage” just like any other advertiser. I smell a deduction.
  2. Hotels
    If you’re not working on a street corner, in the back of a car, or in a bathroom stall nearby, you might spring for anything from the local motel to the Ritz.  If it’s rented just for you to meet clients and perform your job, guess what, it’s coming off the taxes baby!
  3. Cell Phone
    If you have a phone number that you maintain just for clients, guess what, it’s a business expense too.  Just don’t use it as your regular phone and you should be fine.  If you’re avoiding the cops, I suggest something pre-paid where they don’t need your name…or so I hear, so I hear.
  4. Transportation Fees
    If you’re especially high on the hooker rung, you might have to travel to meet your clients.  It doesn’t matter if you fly somewhere to meet them, if you have a car service pick you up, or if you take the bus.  Transportation is transportation and I’d be deducting those costs if I were you.
  5. Bail Money and Legal Representation
    If you’re in a place where prostitution isn’t legal, you might want to add up the cost of bail if you eventually get caught.  Add to that the cost of your lawyer if you’re not using a public defender or taking a plea deal.  I would keep one on retainer just in case.  Just don’t barter with them and swap your services.  You can catch something nasty from a lawyer.
  6. Professional Management Fees
    Do you have a pimp? Sorry, I meant to say “Talent Agent”.  If you’re going to be handing someone 50% of what you make, (which I hear is the going rate) then you should at least deduct those fees and issue that bad boy a 1099.  This is the same if you’re a high priced hooker, sorry, call girl, having to pay a madam.  It’s all the same service with a different name.  And while we’re at it, real Talent Agents only charge 15%, so get rid of the pimp and keep your money.
  7. Work Clothes
    I’m assuming that as a prostitute, you wouldn’t be wearing jeans and a t-shirt.  We’ve all seen women who we thought were dressed like hookers, or at least they should be a hooker.  I’m going to guess that you need to specifically purchase some street walker gear just for this job, so let’s deduct those clothes. …especially the hooker shoes.  High priced girls, if you’re going to special events with your clients, you get to deduct those ball gowns.
  8. Condoms
    Ah, well, I don’t know what to say about this one, but it’s a tool of the trade, or at least it should be, so let’s just leave it at that.
  9. Medical Dues
    I’m lumping a bunch into this one, but I think you can only deduct this one if it exceeds 7.5% of your adjusted gross income.  Someone has to treat your STD’s, pay for your birth control, administer AIDS tests and the like, so, uhm, yeah. Add to that the psychiatrist that you’ll need to see at some point and, deduction!

I’m not promoting the profession, I’m just proving the point that you can deduct lots of things, as long as they are legitimate business expenses.  Sometimes your deductions really depend on what you do for a living.

Did I miss anything else that a hooker could possibly deduct?  Leave them in the comments!

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35 thoughts on “Nine Tax Deductions That Prostitutes Can Claim

  • Amusing post. It would be quite interesting to see a prostitute’s actual tax return if she were to claim all of her deductions. Since it’s all cash transactions though, there is plenty of room to be sneaky.

    Prostitutes aside, people usually have a wide range of deductions that they may not have thought to claim. This is where it might help a lot to get the help of a professional taxman.

  • It is unlikely they will take the deductions because they won’t report the income. The except will be legal places of prostitution for example in Nevada. Maybe we should legalize prostitution so we can tax it.

    • The government DOES have a deficit, but I think the whole morality thing would get in the way. I’m not saying that politicians have morals, I’m just saying that the people who elect them expect politicians to pretend to have some.

  • Can you really claim work clothes as a business expense in the States? You can’t in Canada, which I always thought was nutty! Apparently the only people that can claim any sort of clothing as an expense are cops, and they can only claim two uniforms a year or something like that.

    Anyway, this is an awesome list! Totally had me laughing out loud.

    p.s. Also, bail money? The IRS will seriously let you deduct bail money?!?!

    • Well, if you have to get “special” clothes for work, especially if you can’t wear them anywhere else, sure. It’s the same as a uniform.

      Bail money might not make it, but legal fees are all RIGHT!

  • First of all, I love #6. 1099’s could be the end of pimps as we know it. What about moving expenses (above the line and not usually audited if reasonable and more than 60 miles) for work when one needs a change of pace/scenery (or to get rid of a pimp that the 1099 didn’t shake)? Of if you work out of your home, the home office deduction (be careful about the square footage though- if you only work on the bed upgrade to a king-size to maximize the deduction!). Finally, can you use the tuition and fees deduction for sex ed/human sexuality/tantric/hot yoga classes? Contribution to one’s education should not be limited to college algebra and freshman English.

    • I love the way that you think! If our working girl had a second bedroom just for client use, there’s your home office deduction right there.

    • Yes, you refer to Chesty Love. She got some GINORMOUS bobbies, but wait, they were ALLOWED since the IRS considered them to be “stage props”. Otherwise, cosmetic surgery isn’t deductible.

  • When I saw this on twitter, I knew it must have been from cheeky Sandy!

    Great post 🙂 and makes sense! But do prostitutes pay taxes though? 🙂 If I were one I wouldn’t pay taxes lol.

  • When I saw this on twitter, I knew it must have been from cheeky Sandy!

    Great post 🙂 and makes sense! But do prostitutes pay taxes though? 🙂 If I were one I wouldn’t pay taxes lol.

  • Sheets and beddings are consumables, just like condoms. Also, refreshments for entertainment purposes would be a legitimate business expense. Let’s throw in a deduction for a home office, too.

  • Hi buddy,
    in my opinion u are absolutely right…if the IRS recognized the prostitution as a business that it can be taxable, therefore,it should be deductible as well for those expenses.according to the tax act it is wholly and exclusively incurred for the business .

    by the way,you came up with a brilliant ideas that help us with our presentation of such a case in master degree in business law.

    thanks a lot

  • Hi there,
    I absolutely agree with you.since IRS recognized prostitution as a business that it is taxable under the income act.therefore,it should be deductible as well.
    here is a prick,if they make it deductible some of psycho customers can claim their expenditure as therapist sessions lol

    according to income tax act..those expenditures that u mentioned are wholly and exclusively incurred for the business.

    by the way, you came up with brilliant ideas that helped us with our presentation on such a case in master degree of business law.

  • this post is honestly disgusting and degrading. as a sex worker myself I speak for myself and many others when I say we do pay our taxes and work hard to earn money we use to survive and pay taxes. tax evasion is a huge issue and not something many sex workers want to run into. every sex worker I’ve talked to pays their taxes. this is so disgusting and ignorant of you! please stop making posts about things you have no education on.

  • Actually, none of this is correct. You cannot claim a tax deduction with respect to the commission of a crime. If growing pot is illegal, you must pay tax on the revenue but cannot claim the growing cost as a deduction. The same would apply here. Also, even if you could claim a deduction, you cannot claim a deduction for clothing or hair appointments etc. unless the clothing is inappropriate to wear for non work purposes.

  • The std and psychiatrist comments were unnecessary. Ive been an escort for 6years and have always been clean and safe. Im also happier and more intelligent than many “normal ” women I know, that have sex for free and think men love them.

    • I am also an escort and practice safe sex ALWAYS! I think a professional escort is safer than some women you meet online or in a bar.

      I’ve been in the business for 20 years and never had a disease! We are so misunderstood. I should write a book…

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